In WELL-BENT
Dr. Emily Bly, founder of Psychology Partners Group, is featured in “The Surprising Science of Fighting Better,” an article in the WELL-BENT newsletter on how couples can argue in ways that bring them closer instead of pushing them apart.
What the Article Covers
The article looks at what research and relationship experts say about handling conflict. Topics include:
- Getting curious about the bigger issue under the surface of an argument.
- Focusing on understanding your partner rather than trying to win.
- Knowing when to hit pause.
- The role of humor, and when it helps or hurts.
- Why repair can matter more than resolution.
Where Dr. Bly Contributes
On taking a pause. When feelings run high, it can be hard to listen. The article cites Dr. Bly's recommendation to take at least 20 minutes for your body to settle before revisiting the issue.
On repair. The article cites Dr. Bly on how even a simple request can help get a conversation back on track before it goes sideways, such as “I'm starting to feel criticized. Can you be gentler with me right now?”
A Note From PPG
Every couple argues, and the aim is usually less about never fighting than about finding your way back to each other afterward. If you would like support with conflict in your relationship, our couples therapy is one place to start.
Related Care at PPG
- Couples Therapy: Therapy for partners at any stage.
- What to Expect From Couples Therapy, and When to Start: How couples therapy works.
- Marriage Therapists Who Follow Their Own Advice: The Gottmans: A New York Times article on the Gottman method.
- Strengthening a Marriage: What Eli Finkel's "Love Hacks" Suggest: Another New York Times piece on marriage.
