Discovering an affair or another major betrayal is one of the most painful experiences a couple can face. It is common to feel shock, anger, confusion, and grief all at once. Our clinicians provide structured, non-judgmental couples therapy to help both partners stabilize, understand what happened, and decide how to move forward. Sessions are available in person and online.
What Is Infidelity Counseling?
Infidelity counseling is a form of couples therapy for partners recovering from an affair or other breach of trust, whether the betrayal was sexual, emotional, or online. It addresses the immediate crisis first, then helps both partners understand what happened and what it means for the relationship.
The work supports both the partner who was betrayed and the partner who had the affair, and it does not assume a particular outcome. Some couples rebuild trust and intimacy. Others use therapy to reach a clear, respectful decision to separate. Our role is to help you make that decision with clarity and without pressure.
Our approach draws on the Gottman Trust Revival Method, developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, which guides couples through three phases: atonement, attunement, and attachment.
Couples do not need to be certain about the future to begin. Many start while still in shock or undecided.
When Couples Seek Support
Recent Discovery
An affair has just come to light and the first days or weeks feel unmanageable.
Past Betrayal
An earlier affair was never fully addressed and is still affecting trust.
Emotional or Online Affairs
The betrayal did not involve physical infidelity, but the breach of trust is just as real.
Intrusive Thoughts
The betrayed partner is struggling with distressing images, triggers, or difficulty sleeping and concentrating.
Wanting to Repair
The partner who had the affair wants to take responsibility and help rebuild trust.
Seeking Clarity
You are unsure whether the relationship can or should continue and want support in deciding.
How Our Approach Works
Stabilization
The first sessions focus on safety and structure after discovery. Your therapist helps you establish agreed-upon ground rules, manage overwhelming emotion, and decide what needs attention now and what can wait.
Atonement
The partner who had the affair takes responsibility, and the betrayed partner has space to ask questions and express the hurt. Your therapist guides these conversations so they remain productive instead of escalating.
Attunement
Partners rebuild emotional connection by practicing listening, empathy, and understanding of each other's needs. This phase restores the sense of being heard that betrayal often damages.
Attachment
Couples work toward renewed intimacy and a more durable bond, or, when separation is the outcome, toward ending the relationship with clarity and respect.
Core Components of Care
Understanding the Context
We explore the vulnerabilities and patterns in the relationship that preceded the affair. The aim is understanding, not excusing, and a shared account of what happened.
Transparency Agreements
Concrete, agreed-upon steps for rebuilding trust, including how and when information is shared and what each partner needs to feel safe.
Trauma-Informed Support
Strategies to help the betrayed partner manage triggers and intrusive memories. When appropriate, our clinicians can draw on EMDR or other trauma-focused approaches.
How This Fits Within Psychology Partners Group
Infidelity affects more than the couple. A partner may be experiencing symptoms of trauma, and children can sense instability at home even when they do not know the cause. Because we are a multi-specialty group, your couples therapist can, with your consent, coordinate with colleagues in individual therapy or child and adolescent therapy. This keeps everyone's care aligned while you focus on the work of repair.
